I Choose Joy in the Middle of My Sorrow

Years ago my husband Dave recognized my desire to share Jesus with other women and he encouraged me to follow that calling. So I did. 

His passion was to bring hope to hurting couples by sharing our marriage success story together.  So we did. 

He was also the biggest supporter of my inconsistent blog writing.   He loved to read my posts and would often say I was to write a book.

I would never have thought that the serious writing would come after his exit to Heaven. But it did. Or at least it has begun.

I find myself suddenly eager to write and share  with others even tho each day I have to survive the uninvited “grief bombs” that invade my emotional and physical being with waves of fear, pain  and depression. 

I am so very, very, very sad and yet I feel an almost miraculous joy. I didn’t  say happiness – because I am not happy!  But I have the overwhelming joy that can only come from knowing and relying on Jesus. I believe the Bible is truth – so consequently I am jealous of Dave for being in the presence of our great King Jesus! And it is that belief that drives me to thank God for Dave’s new address and for the promise of mine also someday.

Joy fills the hole in my heart with truth, hope, peace, and strength.

The prophet Nehemiah tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Kay Warren in her study, Choose Joy, gives her definition of joy this way: 

“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life; the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right; and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

I have decided to adopt that definition as mine also.

Father, I believe that you can replace my mourning with dancing and I can become a woman who feels the sadness of life and loss but still chooses to pursue joy. Give me strength and courage to look for your blessings on this journey.